Glass Overflowing!

Here is the first picture that John and I have together.  It has been a long time coming.  This photo was taken by Andrew with my phone, so the quality isn't the best, but looking at it makes me smile.  I am truly blessed and I don't have to worry about my glass being half full - IT IS OVERFLOWING!

Glass Half.................

Hello Friends!  Summer is ending soon, and I can't even tell you where it went!  I got my "official" school letter today announcing the back to school breakfast and faculty meetings...........that's the first sign.  Andrew is off this weekend to his Florida grandparent's house, so that is always the second sign that summer vacation is over. School starts so early this year - Aug. 15!  The past few years it just seems to get earlier and earlier.  There was a time when I thought Aug 24 was too early, but now that looks like an ideal date!  I've been at school several days in the past couple of weeks, and it looks like I am ready.......at least the classroom looks ready.  Am I ready?  Might be a different answer.

Most of you know that I am over-the-moon happy with the direction of my life right now. I have lost weight, I am in a relationship with ABSOLUTELY the right person for me, Andrew has adjusted and is happy,and there seems to be less stress in my life.........at least at this moment. I hope to be able to continue to lose weight once school starts again; it is too hard to diet when I am home in the summer! Everything has settled into a very comfortable routine.  It has, again, given me the chance to step outside myself and look at my life and assess.

If you know me at all, you know I am a planner.  There has never been a time in my life when I didn't think planning allowed me to handle life situations well.  Planning is not easy, nor is it fool-proof, especially when dealing with non-planners - as was the case in my marriage.  Now I'm not saying that everyone should be a planner.....heaven knows my planning often makes me miserable!  Then come children - no one can plan anything with children!  But generally, I have planned for almost every possible contingency in life.  Recently, however, I have begun to think that I am doing it backward, or at least causing myself added stress by planning so much!

My philosophy has been - at least for the past 25 years - "Prepare for the Worst, Hope for the Best."  I thought that would reduce disappointment in my life.  As I began to think along those lines, I got pretty good at figuring out what the "worst" might be.  I spent hours and hours worrying about how I would handle the "what-ifs."  In fact, I spent much more time worrying about those "what-ifs" than living life in the present!  How silly is that?  I missed things in my life because I was busy worrying about things that might or might not happen!  That is often called seeing "the glass half empty."  John said this in a conversation and it struck me.  I DO LOOK AT LIFE THAT WAY!  So much so, that sometimes, when the best happens, I am not as joyful as I could be.   I am simply grateful that the worst DIDN'T happen.  There is an absolute difference between the emotions!

So, my new goal........an added goal..........to look at the glass as half full.  This will be a difficult adjustment, I fear, because old habits die hard.  I need to embrace the here and now.  Not worry about what might happen in the future..........it will either happen or not.  I intend to plan, and make wise life decisions, but try really hard to change my approach.  I think I will be a happier person in the long run.  Plus, everything in my life is AWESOME right now, so I don't have anything to worry about.  :)

Until next time, Just Julie

Reflection

Hello Friends! Two things have happened this week that have caused me to do a little reflecting.  This is usually a time when people examine things and think of things they would have done differently.  Today's reflection, however, is to mark how much I have done in 2 years and make a plan from here forward!This week, two people have stopped me and asked if I have lost weight.  Now, for those of you who don't have a weight issue, you don't understand how HUGE this is.  When you are overweight, people don't want to say anything about weight until you have lost enough that they can be absolutely positive the answer to their question is yes........otherwise it is best to keep their mouth quiet.  Yes, my magic number is 36 from my highest point last year!  The people that asked me this week are people I don't see often, so they had to have noticed a remarkable difference.  I was able to put a smile on my face and answer, "Yes, I have lost 40 pounds."  (I did lose 40 and have gained a little this summer.......grrr)  I have lots of people in my daily life that have noticed and supported me along the way, but this week made me feel sooooo good.......not good enough not to eat the brownie with ice cream last night.......but really good.  At this point I am just trying to maintain so I can get back into the routine when school starts.  It's too difficult to be good when I am at home all day!The other thing that prompted this reflection is a second friend commenting that my blog has inspired them to blog.  I blog for me, it is a way for me to get thoughts out of my head and onto paper.  I will say again, the written word is my first choice for important communication, so a blog seemed perfect.  Now, 2500 page views later I am blown away by how much this blog has become a part of my life and the support I get from it.  I am also blown away by how many people have said they have been inspired by me! Really, I don't feel worthy of inspiring anyone, but have drawn strength from the people who have said that to me!  So.................let's look back!  This blog dates back to the summer of 2009, but I really started my journey in earnest in November of 2010 - a little less than 2 years ago.  My divorce was behind me, I finished my Master's degree, and I was beginning to feel strong again.  I started making necklaces as a hobby and quickly found that I could supplement my income with my craft!  I had a phenomenal response to my first 2 outings - I made a little less than $700 dollars for Christmas that year - which was good because I didn't know where Christmas money was going to come from that year!  Here is a picture of me at Andrew's 15th birthday party with family.  This is a bit before November, 2010, but I wasn't taking very many pictures then because I didn't like what I saw!

I wrote this blog to explain my desire for change in my life:

Blog Dated November 10, 2010:  I'm a mom.  It is my most important job and I have loved almost every minute of it.  It has been Andrew and I on our own for 12 years and he is a good kid.  I take pride in that.  Of course, Ron deserves credit too, a lot of Ron is in Andrew.  Anyway, I have put that first since the day he was  born!  All along, I kept thinking that I didn't have time to do anything else.  That changed somewhat when I started working again when Andrew was 3, but that wasn't really for me - it was something I had to do to pay the bills. The first time I really did something for me - and me alone - was joining the Community Choir.  I credit my parents for that because it was as large a commitment for them as it was for me.  I then began to see that when I took time to do things for me, I became a better person.  It gave me an outlet and an identity other than "Andrew's Mom", although that is still my favorite.  My singing has become a much larger part of my life than I ever dreamed!  Thanks to my friend Rich for that.  From that came the courage to enroll in grad school, something I thought I would never do.  Not only did I succeed, I enjoyed it!  Thanks to my friend Dianne for that.  Now I do other things that are JUST for me, and I love it!  I am first and foremost Andrew's mom, but I am also JUST JULIE! Thanks to my brother Rob for the logo.  Until next time, Julie


Now, this was my way of expressing myself and my desire for change, but it seemed to be something that everyone understood, and the support I gained spurred me on.  I became a happier person and did more things that I wanted to do, not just the things that others wanted me to do, or that I perceived others wanted me to do. This became a springboard for me to really examine what made me happy in life.   


Time moved on and I moved with it.  I really worked on becoming who I wanted to be and that involved many changes.  Learning to use the word "No" was one of them and learning that I wanted more people in my life was another.  I had thought about that many times, but finally had the courage to join Match.com, after a disasterous start with eHarmony.  I wasn't convinced that anything would come of it and, honestly, only had enough money for 3 months.  One day in the 3rd month, a picture and profile came up that drew me in immediately.......and soon after that, I met John. Most of you know how happy I have been the past 2 months.  To quote my sister, "If you keep this happiness stuff up I may have to..........throw up."  I've told her to keep the puke pan at the ready, because I want to keep being this happy!  I have found the road that I want to be on and don't intend on straying off this path anytime in the foreseeable future.  Life is good!  Life is really good!  Life is great!  

Here is a picture I took last week...........I can look at this picture and smile - this is the me I want to keep improving.  I don't want to go back, only forward.  Thanks for all your support and help!  I have often referred to the Hillary Clinton quote, "It takes a village to raise a child."  Well, it takes a village to rebuild a life, so THANKS GO OUT TO MY VILLAGE!  Until next time - Julie

Summer, summer, summertime!

Hello Friends - When I was in junior high, we did an adaptation of the play You're A Good Man Charlie Brown.  I played the part of Lucy - my first, and last, starring role in anything theatrical!  Anyway, Snoopy sings the song Suppertime.  The chorus goes, "Supper, supper, suppertime" and he sings it while he is dancing around.  This is how I feel about summertime.  It goes so quickly and it always seems I have so much on my to do list! Hard to believe that summer vacation is 5 weeks old!

My brother Rob and his family came to visit from Texas last week.  They had been in St. Louis all week and came to Kirksville for a couple of days before heading back to Texas.  They were pretty exhausted from traveling by the time they got here, so we had a pretty low-key visit.  They all stayed at my house and it was cozy, but manageable.  It went very well.  It isn't often that all three siblings are in Mom and Dad's house at the same time, so these are special memories.  Becca, Rob's daughter, will be 12 in August and is becoming such a beautiful young woman.  Ben is a pretty funny kid, even though traveling is very difficult for him.  He was fascinated by all the fans in my house.  He would wander from room to room and turn each fan on and off.  He would then make the same comment about each:  "That's an awfully nice fan."  He did this repeatedly throughout the 2 days he was here.  He also has such good manners!  If you asked him to do something he didn't want to do he would reply, "No mam." and walk away.  Rob and Jenn are doing a fabulous job with both of them.  Notice I am in none of the pictures...........I was in the kitchen fixing the food and when we were done with the meal, Tracy was in the kitchen cleaning up...........Oh well, they know what I look like!

The question comes up repeatedly:  How is my love life?  The answer:  Good, very good, great, BIG SMILE!  I can honestly say that this is the most unexpected life change!  For years I thought I would never trust or open up to another person ever again, but that is not the case.  It proves that when the right person comes along, you just know!  Oh, and, NEVER SAY NEVER!  John has been wonderfully kind to both Andrew and I.  Recently we went to John's parents' house for a fish fry with his family.  Andrew and I arrived before John, but felt comfortable enough to go in and start preparing the watermelon we had brought.  We hadn't been there 5 minutes before I cut myself with the knife Shirley gave me to use.  Now, this wasn't a small knife cut!  This was cutting off the tip of my finger!  I was able to move away and wrap it up with a paper towel so the watermelon could be saved, but the injury was worse than any cut I have had.  Once I took the paper towel away and saw how much blood there was, I felt faint...........this is when John and his 2 daughters arrived!  Nothing like a little drama!  Luckily, there was a nurse there, Mary, and she was able to get the bleeding stopped and wrap it up.  There was no need to go to the hospital since there was nothing to sew back on and we were able to stay there for the evening.  Thank you goes out to Nurse Mary (I don't even know her last name) and the Henderson clan for helping me through this.  I guess there is always a story with every event..........and I will never, ever be allowed to cut a watermelon without hearing about that night again!  My finger is fine, growing back nicely, and even though I don't have feeling in it right now, the doctor feels sure I will eventually get those nerve endings back. Here is a picture of the fish Andrew caught later that evening.

This last picture is of the roses that John bought me later that weekend.  I can't think of the last time I have had a dozen red roses from someone other than my mother or father and it was RIDICULOUS how happy these flowers made me.  I feel young and silly again..........at the tender age of 47!  Life is GOOD!

Until later friends - Just Julie

Families That Play Together..................

Hello Friends!  Happy Summer!  When a person decides to become a teacher, they must take into account the stress, low wage, and overwhelming responsibilities that are attached to that profession.  Having said that, June and July are the months that allow us to re-evaluate that decision and leads us back to the classroom in August.  I am now accustomed to sleeping until 8:00, walking in the morning, and spending at least 2 afternoons a week in a pool floating around getting a tan!  Ah, summer!

Last weekend, I went to a rodeo.  Yes, a rodeo.  I have been to one previously, when Andrew was young, but I found that I am  really, really clueless about anything related to rodeos.  It is accurate to say that I got a bit of an education!  My friend John and his family invited me to go to the LaBelle rodeo and I was glad to get the opportunity.  See, they love horses.  John's brother and his family and John's parents have enjoyed rodeos and horse shows for years.  We sat front and center, where I could see everything, and we all enjoyed it.  The weather was pleasant, the company friendly, and the experience was very nice.  As I sat and watched everything that was going on around me - there was quite a crowd - I noticed one thing.  There were lots and lots of families that were attending this together.  Mothers and fathers with children young and old.  Grandmas and Grandpas, neighbors and school friends were all happily chattering away and having a fun time. One young family sitting next to us had the cutest little boy - probably 3 or 4 years old - who was wearing his cowboy hat, boots, and spurs.  He was adorable!  I smiled a lot that evening, and even though I am quite sure I will never be a rodeo aficionado, I truly enjoyed every minute of my time there.

It made me think about families.  John's family shares a love of horses, the land they farm, and each other.   My family had other passions. When I was in high school, I  was "pushed" out onto the tennis court by my parents my freshman year.  It's not that I didn't want to play tennis, I just hadn't ever played it before.  At that point, my entire family became tennis players.  We played several evenings a week, my parents drove us to tournaments in the summer, and my father and I even entered tourneys as a mixed doubles team.  That became our "thing".  By the time my sister and brother were older, they became swimmers as well.  My family traveled many-a-mile to swim clubs all over Missouri and southern Illinois.  I know families that do many different  activities too.  In fact, whether it is basketball, baseball, soccer, dance, pageants, music, racing, swimming, rodeos, bowling, church, basket collecting, or anything else, the common denominator is family.  It doesn't matter WHAT you are doing, the key is that you are doing it TOGETHER!  As a child, that often seemed a bit smothering.  I know Andrew sometimes wishes he could do more things alone, independently, but these are the things that family memories are made of.  I can't remember a lot of the things I did with friends when I was a teenager even though I had awesome friends. I do, however, remember the tennis I played with my father, the swim meets we attended together, the music recitals and concerts we participated in, or the Longaberger events I traveled to  with my mother.  I see a lot of students pass through my classroom door each year.  There are many things that affect the success of a child, but the single most important variable is the relationship those students have with their family, and how that family spends their time together.  Supportive loving family = Successful happy kids! 

I am very fortunate to be blessed with a very supportive loving family and my most important objective in life is to provide that for Andrew as well.  Every family is different, or course, but I do believe the saying is true - The family that plays together, stays together.  Go out and PLAY with your family! :)  Until later - Just Julie

The Years Are Short

Today a friend in Washington posted this on Facebook.  She was lamenting the fact that her son was going to be a senior in high school next year and how that could possibly be.  When Andrew was born, I became part of a Mom's group.  There were six stay-at-home moms who had babies within 6 months of each other.  We started meeting once a week because we were all struggling a bit with our new roles and the loss of our identities.  The group remained strong through the time we lived in Vancouver, WA - and we added a few more moms.  The core group remained the same, and all of the other families added more children, Andrew was the only child of the bunch.  We have remained in contact through the years, by Christmas cards and more recently through Facebook.  If you read my blog, you know that I am struggling a bit with the speed in which time is racing by.  This video, by a woman named Gretchen Rubin, happiness-project.com,  perfectly embodies what I have been writing about.  In our case, it wouldn't be a bus ride, but it might be a trip in our Nissan van, a story about our dog Kallie, or a project in the yard that we tackled.  Enjoy this video and share your own stories about how you remember the early years of being a parent.  Thanks go out to my friend Stephanie for bringing it to my attention today.  This sounds like a website I will enjoy and be inspired by!  Until Later - Julie

This Boy!

Andrew at 3 days old. 

Hello Friends,  Summer is here and with it comes lazy mornings, relaxing evenings, and fun times.  Andrew has been in Chicago this week with Aunt Melissa and I usually enjoy him being gone for about a week.  Today marks a week of his absence in our house, and I am ready for him to come home.  With his 17th birthday just around the corner, I have been a bit nostalgic the past few days, thinking that he is only a few years away from being gone.  Where have the past few years gone?  It seems like it was only yesterday that I was bringing him home from the hospital.  I often call Andrew my gift from God for many reasons, one of which being that I don't think he would be here without a bit of intervention from above.  A lot of prayer, a super doctor, and weekly injections made my pregnancy possible.  While I know I look about 15 years old in this picture, I was an older mother at age 30 and we were ready to give our child all the love we had to give.  

    

Andrew at 3

Andrew at 5

I was fortunate to be able to stay home with Andrew, so I stopped teaching and was a full time mom.  It had always been my dream to be a stay-at-home mom!  I loved the time I stayed home!  Lots of the time it was just Andrew and I because his father always traveled for his job.  We were two peas in a pod!  We had a comfortable home, great friends and family, and we had so much fun. We moved to Kirksville when Andrew was three, and even though I started working, I still treasured every minute with my boy!  I have written about my commitment to parenting in previous blogs, but there was no other important thing in my life.  Being Andrew's mom was all I wanted to do!  He was such a sweet little guy, always polite and loving.  He slept when he was supposed to sleep, he cuddled when I wanted to cuddle, and we were happy. While it is stressful to be a single parent, I look back on those days with a joy I didn't feel as I was going through it. I was Andrew's mom!

Andrew at 9

As Andrew grew, he became more independent - as kids do - but I still felt that tug at my heart each time we hugged or cuddled.  They tell you before you become a parent that you don't understand love before children, and I can tell you that is true!  One of the things that happens with an only child is that they are often treated like an adult.  This has been true with Andrew!  In some respects we have been fortunate that my sister has 2 boys and they were together a lot, so they were almost like brothers.  Andrew and I loved to do projects together.  We would do things in the yard, or around the house, or for my parents.  Andrew has always been a worker, just like me.  We often accomplished things that astounded me!  

Vacation 3 years ago

It goes without saying that I love my boy!  While he is sometimes a pain in my behind, he is a very good kid. He is responsible and loving, a hard worker, and  very compassionate.  I am so proud of him!  He has lots of really great qualities.  School isn't easy for Andrew, nor does he work as much as he should at it. But he does other things without difficulty.  I have watched him take apart a lawn mower and put it back together.  I have seen him fix items in our house.  These are things I did not teach him!  He figured it out on his own!  He is an awesome traveler.  I love taking trips with him - even though he does get stressed out sometimes!  

Happy Birthday to my baby boy Andrew!  As much as you will hate this, you are still my baby.  I will love you for always.  Our lives will change in many ways over the coming years, but I will always be there for you!  No matter what!

I LOVE to hear Andrew laugh!

Until later Friends, Julie