Reflection

Hello Friends! Two things have happened this week that have caused me to do a little reflecting.  This is usually a time when people examine things and think of things they would have done differently.  Today's reflection, however, is to mark how much I have done in 2 years and make a plan from here forward!This week, two people have stopped me and asked if I have lost weight.  Now, for those of you who don't have a weight issue, you don't understand how HUGE this is.  When you are overweight, people don't want to say anything about weight until you have lost enough that they can be absolutely positive the answer to their question is yes........otherwise it is best to keep their mouth quiet.  Yes, my magic number is 36 from my highest point last year!  The people that asked me this week are people I don't see often, so they had to have noticed a remarkable difference.  I was able to put a smile on my face and answer, "Yes, I have lost 40 pounds."  (I did lose 40 and have gained a little this summer.......grrr)  I have lots of people in my daily life that have noticed and supported me along the way, but this week made me feel sooooo good.......not good enough not to eat the brownie with ice cream last night.......but really good.  At this point I am just trying to maintain so I can get back into the routine when school starts.  It's too difficult to be good when I am at home all day!The other thing that prompted this reflection is a second friend commenting that my blog has inspired them to blog.  I blog for me, it is a way for me to get thoughts out of my head and onto paper.  I will say again, the written word is my first choice for important communication, so a blog seemed perfect.  Now, 2500 page views later I am blown away by how much this blog has become a part of my life and the support I get from it.  I am also blown away by how many people have said they have been inspired by me! Really, I don't feel worthy of inspiring anyone, but have drawn strength from the people who have said that to me!  So.................let's look back!  This blog dates back to the summer of 2009, but I really started my journey in earnest in November of 2010 - a little less than 2 years ago.  My divorce was behind me, I finished my Master's degree, and I was beginning to feel strong again.  I started making necklaces as a hobby and quickly found that I could supplement my income with my craft!  I had a phenomenal response to my first 2 outings - I made a little less than $700 dollars for Christmas that year - which was good because I didn't know where Christmas money was going to come from that year!  Here is a picture of me at Andrew's 15th birthday party with family.  This is a bit before November, 2010, but I wasn't taking very many pictures then because I didn't like what I saw!

I wrote this blog to explain my desire for change in my life:

Blog Dated November 10, 2010:  I'm a mom.  It is my most important job and I have loved almost every minute of it.  It has been Andrew and I on our own for 12 years and he is a good kid.  I take pride in that.  Of course, Ron deserves credit too, a lot of Ron is in Andrew.  Anyway, I have put that first since the day he was  born!  All along, I kept thinking that I didn't have time to do anything else.  That changed somewhat when I started working again when Andrew was 3, but that wasn't really for me - it was something I had to do to pay the bills. The first time I really did something for me - and me alone - was joining the Community Choir.  I credit my parents for that because it was as large a commitment for them as it was for me.  I then began to see that when I took time to do things for me, I became a better person.  It gave me an outlet and an identity other than "Andrew's Mom", although that is still my favorite.  My singing has become a much larger part of my life than I ever dreamed!  Thanks to my friend Rich for that.  From that came the courage to enroll in grad school, something I thought I would never do.  Not only did I succeed, I enjoyed it!  Thanks to my friend Dianne for that.  Now I do other things that are JUST for me, and I love it!  I am first and foremost Andrew's mom, but I am also JUST JULIE! Thanks to my brother Rob for the logo.  Until next time, Julie


Now, this was my way of expressing myself and my desire for change, but it seemed to be something that everyone understood, and the support I gained spurred me on.  I became a happier person and did more things that I wanted to do, not just the things that others wanted me to do, or that I perceived others wanted me to do. This became a springboard for me to really examine what made me happy in life.   


Time moved on and I moved with it.  I really worked on becoming who I wanted to be and that involved many changes.  Learning to use the word "No" was one of them and learning that I wanted more people in my life was another.  I had thought about that many times, but finally had the courage to join Match.com, after a disasterous start with eHarmony.  I wasn't convinced that anything would come of it and, honestly, only had enough money for 3 months.  One day in the 3rd month, a picture and profile came up that drew me in immediately.......and soon after that, I met John. Most of you know how happy I have been the past 2 months.  To quote my sister, "If you keep this happiness stuff up I may have to..........throw up."  I've told her to keep the puke pan at the ready, because I want to keep being this happy!  I have found the road that I want to be on and don't intend on straying off this path anytime in the foreseeable future.  Life is good!  Life is really good!  Life is great!  

Here is a picture I took last week...........I can look at this picture and smile - this is the me I want to keep improving.  I don't want to go back, only forward.  Thanks for all your support and help!  I have often referred to the Hillary Clinton quote, "It takes a village to raise a child."  Well, it takes a village to rebuild a life, so THANKS GO OUT TO MY VILLAGE!  Until next time - Julie