Sunday, January 29, 2012

Blessings

Hello!  It is the end of January and I am wearing my Adidas capris!  Crazy!  I am glad for the good weather, but there is something about being indoors on cold days that I am missing this year.  I certainly don't miss the high heating bill, but I am craving those cold evenings at home where you get indoors as quickly as possible because it is too cold to go out.  Maybe I am just craving simpler times because when Andrew was small we would get in the house about 4:00 or so and have an entire evening ahead of us to do what we wanted.  Dinner, bath time, homework, television together, stories.  We don't do many of those things together anymore and sometimes it makes me sad. (Well, bath time doesn't make me sad)

So we are having Andrew's Aunt Melissa and her friend Andrea as house guests next weekend. They are visiting from Chicago and will come in on the train.  They are coming to see Andrew play basketball - and I hope they will see some good ball. Andrew and I are so blessed with family on both sides that care for us deeply.  Ron's sister has been a Godsend more than once during the past 10 years and I always worry that the relationship is too one-sided. Not that she ever MAKES me feel that way.  I don't feel I offer her anything.............and I would like that to change. She and Andrea live such different lives from Andrew and I.  Andrea is from Costa Rica and is the sweetest person you can ever meet, but she and Melissa are both city dwellers.  I would like to be able to show them that our life is full here in rural Missouri too, but in an entirely different way.  Basketball games are social events, so they will see we are blessed by good friends.  So here's the challenge, what should I do to help her see the beauty of this small community?  Life appears simpler here - although I don't believe it really is - and there is a fine line between simple and boring.  If you have any great ideas, let me know in the comments.

I have been slowly cleaning over the past few weeks.  Getting rid of stuff that accumulates that we don't need.  I even put away some of the "skinny" clothes I have been dreaming about wearing.  Not that I have given up, but the sheer fact that they are hanging in my closet DOES NOT mean I am going to fit into them.  I need to make small commitments to changing my habits.  I have slowly learned not to cook more than we need for portion control.  I always allow Andrew to have a larger portion and that forces me to eat less.  It helps, but it won't do anything unless I begin to exercise.  Small steps!  Anyway, back to cleaning, it will be nice to have gone through all cupboards, drawers, and closets, but how do we accumulate so much crap?  When I bring it into the house, I feel I can't live without it, but then I never use it!  I have parred down my cookware to 6 pieces.  I have had more, but don't need it.  It is ridiculous!  I am still stuck in the 80's when your measure of success was your stash of things.  I don't want that anymore.  Part of my new vision is realizing that I will not be judged by my possessions, but by the life I lead.  I have had lots of time to think over the past 2 years, and I really had some things wrong.  I had a dream, or vision, of what I thought I wanted my life to be and it was a big, beautiful house, nice furniture, a nice car, and all the things that went with it.  I think that was what I saw when I got married, and didn't realize that it would mean NOTHING without the relationship that was the foundation.  I learned that too late!

I don't want to see sappy or sad, but life teaches us lessons in strange ways.  Now I think more clearly and there isn't anyone to share it with!  I think that is called IRONY!

Until next time, Julie

1 comment:

  1. Isn't it interesting how we see ourselves? When I look at you, I see someone who is so super organized. Someone who is very focused, but is also someone who is very professional. I do not think that you are someone who is judged by your possessions. I think you are someone who is looked up to by your peers. Looked up to by your family. But I also see someone who is so ready to quit being lonely. I wish I could fix that and I don't know how. I guess that is the difference between the two of us. You jump in and do, I jump in and try to fix. ((sigh)). Now having said all of this, I do LOVE it when you house is messy!!!! :O)

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